First: In my home group, we are reading “Befriend” by Scott Sauls. I think you would really enjoy it, and it would help you as you pursue these deep, free friendships.Second: Are you familiar with Brene Brown? I highly recommend her TED talk, “The Power of Vulnerability,” and all of her books. I am a disciple of Brene’s. When I first discovered the talk, it was like everything I knew and believed about relationships clicked into place. She eloquently described what I had understood for YEARS… but didn’t quite know how to put into words. Bonus: backed with data! Vulnerability drives connection. We must be willing to be vulnerable to pursue open and free relationships. That means, often, pressing into the discomfort of our own insecurities. I think you will love her, check her out. :)third: (I do not want to make you feel judged here. I am also a Christian woman. The following are some of my own experiences, and what I have learned about Christ in the process.)A couple of the things you were concerned about at your gathering are rooted in lots of privilege. I get it–I’m a white lady from an middle/upper middle class background. BUT after I got pregnant in college, I have been living on or beneath the poverty line for half a decade. Truly, I think being poor and struggling to pay basic bills has made my little family rich in many ways. I couldn’t worry about which dishes to use, because there was only one set, and it was MELAMINE (we couldn’t afford breakables)! When we had people over, I bought groceries on a credit card (yes, I know that’s lunacy), because we couldn’t afford to feed other people outside our family (yet we still wanted to be hospitable and generous…). So I think there’s another thing going on here, and that’s taking the time to have gratitude for the things you take for granted. Offer what you have to others–even if it is very little by American standards. Even if you have only paper napkins. Even if you have no napkins at all. Even if you don’t have enough chairs (we often gave our chairs to guests and sat on a step ladder or a drum throne instead). if your friends complain or bicker about going over to your house and not having the *right* kind of experience… then you need different friends. And here’s a spoiler alert, I don’t think anyone would complain. Because YOUR FRIENDSHIP is what they value, not a special or fancy experience. When you sit together and say a prayer and raise a glass, remember that you are BLESSED to have food in your belly, to be feeding others, to be wondering which china to use.Great article! Thank you for sharing yourself with us!ReplyCancel